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Ask the Pros

4/16/2019

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First in a Series

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​Golf is a game of ability, skill, strategy and rules.  It’s this heady mix that keeps most of us guessing from takeaway to impact and beyond. That’s why, from time to time, this column is happy to take time away from digging up the hard news surrounding our golfing life here in Traylor County; and, spend some quality time getting answers from area Golf Professionals to questions you have posed.  So, let’s dig into the mailbag!  

Randy Atwater of Plunkwater Village asks:  “Clarification please:  Let’s say I hit a drive on the third hole at Traylor Park Golf Course, the one that runs along Old Hiway 13.  And, let’s say the ball slices over the big hickory tree and goes through the windshield of an oncoming truck owned by Otto Brockmeier. Who is responsible for repairing the damage?  I did yell “fore.” Also, he never gave my ball back.”  
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Since Traylor Park Golf Course owner and Head Pro Legolas Demott was unavailable for comment, on advice from his attorney, we went to Hooking Hills Head Pro Bix Wilstrup.  

“The law is pretty clear on this one!  If you are not seen to have hit the ball, and do not step forward to take responsibility, then you are not - legally - responsible; unless proven guilty in a court of law.  Our Golf course is quite clear on this.  If a golfer hits a ball off the golf course and breaks something, it is definitely not our fault.  Beyond that, well, it would be nice if the guy would return the golf ball.  But, my guess is, once this is in the paper, getting his ball back will be the least of your problems.” 

Trace Groglin of Tilda’s Bend writes:  “After throwing a golf club, what is the proper etiquette?”

Plunker Falls Golf Tennis and Gun Club Assistant Golf Pro, Dan Didler provides the answer: 

“It depends.  There are several levels of club throwing that require different remedies:
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  • If you throw the club and it lands harmlessly: Pick it up  quickly and explain that your grips must be getting old and slippery.  Then, add - “You know - like Ted Knight in Caddy Shack?!  Getting people to start talking about Caddy Shack usually make people forget you’re a jerk.”
  • If the thrown club sticks in the ground, damaging the turf - or worse, the green - quickly remove the offending object, repair the turf as best you can and remind your playing partners they’re lucky they didn’t get whacked.  If you say it with a chuckle - and buy them all beers the next time the drink wagon rolls by - they might not tell you what they think of you…to your face.
  • If the club you throw hits one of your fellow players, good Golf etiquette demands you offer to buy that person a drink at the 19th hole.  But, you should wait until that person has regained consciousness.  Oh!  If they received a concussion, they shouldn’t have alcohol - so offer a Gatorade!
  • Overall, commonsense should rule the day when throwing Golf Clubs.”   

From Alison Pollack of Chesterville Bottoms: “I am at the age where I find that I am easily offended by things that never bothered me when I was younger, nicer and easier to be around.  One thing that really bothers me is practicing my golf game.  Can you please tell me the best way to lower my handicap - without wasting time on the practice tee?” 

For that answer, we turn to Professional D. Ray Yoinkers of Woodstone CC at Horehound Landing: 

“This is a question a lot of Amateurs ask.  My best answer is to do what it seems they do: Don’t count all your shots.  When you report a lower score than you actually shot, you will, over time, lower your handicap.  Depending on the actual difference in real score and ‘handicap score,’ the drop in your handicap can be significant.  Following this simple plan eliminates hours of practice time - giving you more time to be irritated and upset about other things that are also unimportant.  Beware, however, if you enter a tournament and your teammates expect you to play somewhere near the number on your handicap card.  Often, this problem results in beer-fueled arguments and black eyes.  In this case, be ready with a solid excuse like: “I’ve had to modify my swing a little since I had my wrist and tonsils replaced.”  However, for best results, do what everyone else does - fudge the score just a little in your favor.  You won't look quite as stupid.”


Our thanks to the area Golf Professionals and to our readers for this thoughtful exchange of questions and answers.  Let’s keep the flow of information going!  Send your questions to:  
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Tell Me Something I Don’t Know
Golf Beat
Persimmon Pines Times


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    Author

    Larry Caringer has been writing humor for broadcast for a long time.  Now, he's writing it for you.  The stories, here, are from a collection of short stories from his book "Golf Beat:  A Year in the Life of Persimmon Pines."    

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